"We’re preparing you for the real world"
I don’t meant to alarm you but
the real world has calculators
do me a favour. if a person wearing a long sleeved shirt or a sweatshirt and jeans on a hot day, don’t comment on it. don’t ask why they’re wearing it. don’t say anything at about it.
trust me, they know it’s hot, they know. but their reason for wearing what they’re wearing probably far outweighs the temperature outside.
this is so god damn important
Once in science class the teacher was talking about reproduction and how almost everything we do on routine is to attract a mate and this one boy was all “I don’t want a wife or a girlfriend” so everyone was all “omg r u gay” and he said “no i kinda dont really want anyone” and there was silence until he said “well actually i kinda want lizard” and long story short that kid came out as asexual in front of 30 8th graders
real life charlie weasley
THE BEST WAY TO GO OUT: CONTINUING A RUNNING GAG.
do you realize the Captain America 2 title is actually just Steve Rogers: Bucky Barnes
punning should be an olympic sport please hear me ancient greek gods and make it so
"I waited too long to read the sequel, and now I can’t even remember the characters."
A novel by me
"I read the whole series in less than two days, and now can’t separate the events of individual books" the thrilling sequel
"I began reading fanfiction immediately afterward, and now I can’t remember what’s actually canon and what isn’t" the heartwrenching conclusion
daily reminder that minerva mcgonagall is metal as fuck
reminder she took 3 stunning spells directly to the chest and after being taken to st mungos brushed it off like nothing
OKAY SO ALMOST 2 MONTHS AGO OUR ENGLISH TEACHER FORCED US TO ENTER A POETRY CONTEST AND I WAS ABOUT TO ENTER A POEM WHEN IT TRIED TO FORCE ME TO GIVE IT A TITLE SO IN A FIT OF RAGE I WROTE A NEW POEM COMPLAINING ABOUT THE TITLE REQUIREMENT
AND TODAY I WENT TO CHECK MY EMAIL AND I??????
YOU ARE LITERALLY PUBLISHING AN INSULT TO YOUR OWN RULES BUT OKAY I GUESS IF GETTING TALKED DOWN TO TURNS YOU ON SOMEHOW AND I GET PUBLISHED I’VE GOT NO COMPLAINTS HERE?
Oh my god this is fucking amazing
francIS WHAT THE FU CK IS YOUR HARI COLOUR?????????: a novel by me
mix all of them together and see what happens
you know i wasn’t actually expecting this to produce a colour that makes sense but then???
i found it
I love pine trees cause they consistently look like they’re flipping everyone off.
I live in the Evergreen State. I will never be able to unsee this.